Aziz Ansari returned to Studio 8H on May 2 to play embattled FBI Director Kash Patel in Saturday Night Live's cold open, joining a political sketch that also featured Colin Jost as Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth.
The segment opened with Ashley Padilla's Karoline Leavitt running a White House press briefing before quickly handing the mic to Jost's Hegseth. "I'm not going to apologize because I wear my religion on my sleeve, literally," Jost's character declared. "I have a tattoo on my forearm of Jesus choking out Jimmy Kimmel." The sketch ended his portion with a blunt summation: "In summary, war is awesome."
Ansari's Patel followed. The character boasted about the thoroughness of an investigation into an unspecified assassination attempt on President Trump. "We dotted every T and bulged every Eye," he said. Patel then pivoted to self-congratulation. "I'm a trailblazer. I'm the first Indian person to suck at their job," Ansari said in character. "Everyone said 'Indian people are smart, hardworking, intelligent.' I prove without a shadow of a doubt that we can be just as incompetent and as confident as the whites."
Later in the episode, Weekend Update co-anchor Colin Jost took aim at the Trump administration's decision to put the president's face on the inside cover of a limited number of new U.S. passports, framing it as part of the semiquincentennial celebration of the Declaration of Independence. The State Department confirmed the move this week. "You'll always carry a reminder of why you fled the country," Jost quipped. He also noted how Trump's image was positioned in the design: "I love that the picture of Trump is also burning a hole in the Declaration of Independence."
Jost addressed King Charles III and Queen Camilla's four-day state visit to the United States as well. Among the king's stated goals was to "seek the release of a British hostage being held by an American terrorist," Jost joked, running a photo of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle alongside the line.
Michael Che commented on Charles meeting New York Mayor Zohran Mamdani. "I'm surprised he didn't take Mamdani back to England with him, because he is an Indian treasure," Che said.
Jost closed the royal segment with a reference to the gift Charles brought to the White House state dinner, a bell from a British submarine. "If you ever need to get ahold of us, just give us a ring," Jost said the king told Trump. He followed with a second punchline referencing the president's contacts list: "Or, Trump could just call the guy saved in his phone as 'Andrew (Island).'"
